As much consternation as I would love to heap on Jimmy, he is from Georgia, so this will come as an act of clemency....and he used to hold some office at some point, but it was fairly brief.
2. Loudest Smackdown: University of Georgia Bulldogs in the 2008 Sugar Bowl.
Telling the winner of the first Krippie to shut up in the middle of an international conference is cool, but it only lasted about 15 seconds, whereas Georgia's unmitigated destruction of Hawaii lasted a glorious 3 1/2 hours.
3. Biggest Hypocrite: Elliot Spitzer.
While both of the candidates had an even hand in who would be named the worst hypocrite to date, the fact that Spitzer actually accomplished in penalizing people who had done nothing more (and sometimes less) than what he had ultimately makes Elliot Spitzer the biggest hypocrite mentioned on Kriplekistan.
4. Biggest Liar: Hillary Clinton.
This one really pains me to say, because I feel I could actually entertain Hillary Clinton's company much longer and have a much more intelligent conversation with her than that tool of a pundit Keith Olbermann. And, while both of their lies were well documented with video evidence, Hillary's was so egregious it was comical.
5. Smuggiest Douchebags: MoveOn.org's and their General Betray-us ad.
Although Newsweek's featured douchebags came very close to pulling off the upset, MoveOn.org's smear of America's greatest active general in order to push a failing (and downright anti-American) policy of purposefully losing in Iraq is too reprehensible to ignore.
6. Total Demagogue: Lou Dobbs.
Okay, so we've got our first upset of the award ceremony. While both these men are in love with their own self image, Lou Dobbs carries out his daily xenophobe hour on CNN every night unapologetically, while Howard Dean (thankfully) confines himself to the random sound bite or interview.
7. Candid Camera Careerist: Happy little terrorist.
Wow, I really had a hard time with this one. Both of the people caught on camera display nothing but malice and hate for their fellow human beings. The one catch however, is those bottom feeding teeny boppers from central Florida are going to see what a real beat down is like when they go to the county for a while and hang out with some female inmates who love to show little girls what its like "when keeping it real goes wrong." Our happy little terrorist however probably felt no pain as he expired, and lets face it, accidentally blowing yourself up when you claim God is on your side is pretty hilarious in its own right.
8. Best City featured so far on Kriplekistan: San Diego.
Again, no explanation needed, feel free to double check my claim.
9. Most Intelligent Observation: New York Daily News.
I've been waiting for a Republican to tell Democrats they can feel free to pay more taxes on their own for longer than I can imagine, but when a left leaning publication tells the state leader of the biggest sponsor of terrorism to flatly "Go to Hell," it reminds me that at no matter what point this country is at politically speaking, people that mess with us have a nice warm place to head towards.
10. Toughest Dogs in the Desert: Combined Iraqi Armed Forces.
Lets face it, these guys have had it tough. Start from the ground up, not knowing whether or not your new government is even going to last, threats from all sects and tribes within your own country, your domestic enemies are trained and funded by a hostile enemy next door, and the country that set you on your present course is having a boat load of turmoil at home regarding how much longer they're going to support you. After all that, Iraqi Armed forces have just smashed Muqtada Al-Sadr's militias in the south, the Sunni Awakening Councils have decimated Al Qaeda beyond belief, Kurdish Peshmerga forces have quietly founded a stable, prosperous region of their own, and after 5 long years of fighting, there is a light at the end of the tunnel for both your country, and U.S. armed forces for a peaceful exit. Bravo.
Its been a great year everybody, not just for the therapeutic quality I've taken from writing through this vent of sorts, but because I've purposefully taken on issues that I felt you, my friends, would find interesting. Hopefully, with your support, we'll have many more years of discussions, observations, and fun together.
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