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Biggest Drain on the Species (3rd Edition)



BDOTS is here ladies and gentlemen! Just to refresh anyone's memory who may have forgot exactly how BDOTS (Biggest Drain on the Species) works, the award is given to an individual who's actions/comments are so blatantly hypocritical and self serving, this person is no longer just a detriment to the overall societal fabric, but an obstruction to the advancement of all human kind, and do I have a good one for you today. So good, in fact, that I am going to write to our candidate directly in hopes he may yet read this.

Howard Dean, you have been a great sound bite ever since the 2004 presidential campaign. After your colossal campaign collapse, the Democratic National Party liked what it saw in your "grass roots" style, in which you employed eager volunteers with some new invention called the internet, resulting in a fairly effective money raising machine, and gave you the nod as the new DNC leader. Evidently, the DNC must have also liked the complete ineffectiveness of your governing style. Aside from being completely inept and proving unable to keep the Democratic party from delving into a cold civil war between Obama and Clinton supporters, you have shown no leadership in trying to find a way to seat Michigan and Florida's delegates. But hey, you sure can connect with the people.

So you're a buffon you say, plenty of people are buffoons, and you're right to point that out. But buffoonery is the only forgivable flaw you have. You, Howard Dean, are also a closet racist and hypocrite extraordinaire. During a meeting with the Democratic black caucus in 2005, you praised black Democrats for their work for the party, then questioned Republicans' ability to appeal to minorities.

"You think the Republican National Committee could get this many people of color in a single room?" You asked to laughter. "Only if they had the hotel staff in here."

Fantastic. If that doesn't expose your blatant bias in assumption that only people of color work hotel staffs, feel free to comment. Should you wish to claim you "misspoke," now would be the time. Lets move forward, shall we? While we're on this trip down "memory lane," lets take a turn onto "perspective alley."

Recently, you regarded John McCain as a "blatant opportunist." Now, considering John McCain has been a member of the Senate since the early 80's, and your two presidential candidates have 6 and 2 years respectively in Congress...that somewhat flies in the face of what you regard as opportunism. Wait, I'm sorry what was that? Oh, thats right, you wanted to say something about the best interest of the nation at heart...I'm glad you brought that up. I think you'll find the answer in one of your speeches from 2004 in which you were campaigning for John Kerry. You sir are quoted as saying

"The real issue is this. Who would you rather have in charge of the defense of the United States of America, a group of people who never served a day overseas in their life, or a guy who served his country honorably and has three Purple Hearts and a Silver Star on the battlefields of Vietnam?"

Irony can be so delightful.
(I'm sure you'll recall John McCain was awarded the Purple Heart, Prisoner of War medal, Bronze Star, Distinguished Flying Cross, Legion of Merit, and the Silver Star)

Alas, I am not writing this to inform of you of your hypocrisy Mr. Dean. Nor am I even convincing you to switch sides, that is obviously proven to be impossible. Wait I'm sorry, excuse me, in 2003 you said: "I still want to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their pickup trucks," I'm sorry to hear that. I don't have a confederate flag on my pick up truck, I find the confederate flag abhorrent. The reason I am writing you personally sir is that this is an honest attempt to stop you from damaging our country with your viciousness and rancor. Until you stop, I'm afraid, you are a serious drain on the social fabric, and the species in general.

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