Kriplekistan

1. Leftist Buffoon: Hugo Chavez. As much consternation as I would love to heap on Jimmy, he is from Georgia, so this will come as an act of clemency....and he used to hold some office at some point, but it was fairly brief. 2. Loudest Smackdown: University of Georgia Bulldogs in the 2008 Sugar Bowl. Telling the winner of the first Krippie to shut up in the middle of an international conference is cool, but it only lasted about 15 seconds, whereas Georgia's unmitigated destruction of Hawaii lasted a glorious 3 1/2 hours. 3. Biggest Hypocrite: Elliot Spitzer. While both of the candidates had an even hand in who would be named the worst hypocrite to date, the fact that Spitzer actually accomplished in penalizing people who had done nothing more (and sometimes less) than what he had ultimately makes Elliot Spitzer the biggest hypocrite mentioned on Kriplekistan. 4. Biggest Liar: Hillary Clinton. This one really pains me to say, because I feel I could actually entertain Hillary ...

The Krippies! Basically, I've decided every April 30th (our one year anniversary for those of you who haven't been paying attention), I'm going to be giving out the "Krippies." These distinctions, some of them dubious, are the highest levels of merit the oligarchy of Kriplekistan has to offer those found worthy enough to be published. Some will be awarded to those who have displayed incredible ignorance, hypocrisy, deceptiveness, self serving smugness, hilarious amounts of stupidity, as well as those worth mentioning due to their bravery, fortitude, intelligence, competency, and all around kick assery. The categories for this year's Krippies are: 1. Leftist Buffoon. Jimmy Carter with his baffling support for terrorist elements in the West Bank such as Hamas, vs. Hugo Chavez for covertly supporting FARC as well as his continued sabre rattling in South America. Odds: Chavez 4-1. 2. Loudest Smackdown. The Georgia Dawgs complete dismantlement of Hawaii in t...

So this completely hit me by surprise today...but bear with me for a few moments. A few weeks ago, the New York Philharmonic Orchestra played for members of the ruling elite of the communist party in Pyongyang, North Korea. The event carried so much gravitas in my eyes, I stayed up until 5 in the morning to watch on CNN international and have a few beers in the process. In fact, it was so stupendous in my eyes, the next morning I explained to a few friends that if someone had asked me while I was studying North Korean denuclearization talks in college the chances of an American anything receiving thunderous applause from a North Korean audience, there were better odds of an amusement park going up in Baghdad. Well, since we've made it this far..... http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/iraq/article3802051.ece

Barack Obama, April 6, San Francisco fund-raiser: "You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." 4 months earlier....somewhere in middle America: I'll never forget coming across this license plate. It was a few months ago when I was working for Tempur Pedic making deliveries across a lot of the Ohio valley states, and my driver and I had a short drop off to a mattress store in rural, and I mean rural Indiana. After we finished unloading, I wal...

In the wake of this election season, which is increasingly charged with accusations of "Monster," "Judas," and "Chickens coming home to roost," I'd like to take a moment and give everyone a look at what actual malice and hate can look like. The video itself is self explanatory, and while the Florida authorities say this was filmed arbitrarily for the sake of putting on the internet, if you listen to the commotion you can hear some of the assailants screaming about "boyfriends," "myspace," and other high school-esque nonsense, which leads me to believe it was more than just a pr stunt. Having said that, I chose a video which still shows the face(s) of at least one of the attackers, because the people who did this deserve to be exposed epitomizing the worthlessness that they are. Ironically, I'm posting about these "people" after my latest (which should come across as satirical by now) Biggest Drain on the Species edit...

BDOTS is here ladies and gentlemen! Just to refresh anyone's memory who may have forgot exactly how BDOTS (Biggest Drain on the Species) works, the award is given to an individual who's actions/comments are so blatantly hypocritical and self serving, this person is no longer just a detriment to the overall societal fabric, but an obstruction to the advancement of all human kind, and do I have a good one for you today. So good, in fact, that I am going to write to our candidate directly in hopes he may yet read this. Howard Dean, you have been a great sound bite ever since the 2004 presidential campaign. After your colossal campaign collapse, the Democratic National Party liked what it saw in your "grass roots" style, in which you employed eager volunteers with some new invention called the internet, resulting in a fairly effective money raising machine, and gave you the nod as the new DNC leader. Evidently, the DNC must have also liked the complete ineffectiveness...